Big Brother


The detective saw his opportunity. He grabbed the waitress’s arm and said, “Can we please have the check when you have a moment?” The detective has just picked up his son from school and stopped by a local diner before taking his son to baseball practice. This routine was typical on Thursday afternoons, and the detective cherished these few moments he spent with his son because he worked long hours. Occasionally, he would go days without seeing his wife or son, so every moment mattered to him. Although routine, this sequence of school, diner, and baseball field would be different on this particular Thursday.

The detective’s son, Hunter, was the team’s starting shortstop, and he was a good ballplayer for a nine-year-old. He had the 5 tools of baseball: hitting for power, hitting for average, fielding ability, throwing ability, and speed. The townspeople murmured that he could be the next star of Major League Baseball. Hunter was humble and was a team-player. He enjoyed his success, but enjoyed having fun more than winning. When his dad dropped him off at practice, he jumped out of the car, said bye to his dad, ran over to the field, hung his bag on the fence, and took his position on the field.

After fielding groundballs for fifteen minutes, he glanced towards the parking lot, and saw something odd. He saw his dad’s car in the parking lot, and he noticed his dad tearing in the driver’s seat. Hunter’s dad usually dropped him off, and then went back to his office to finish up paper work before returning to pick him up from practice. Hunter was curious about what his dad was doing, and he asked to be excused from practice for a moment. He nervously jogged over to his dad’s window. His dad slowly lowered the window, and with short breath and tears in his eyes said, “Hunter, you have a new baby sister!” Hunter’s mom, Avery, had been pregnant, but the family had been anxious that she might experience a miscarriage due to internal complications. This news came a week before her expected delivery date, but came much to the delight of the detective and Hunter. Hunter’s dad stepped out from the car and embraced Hunter with a warm hug.

Hunter finished practice with a big smile on his face. He told all of his friends that he was going to be a big brother. He was so proud. When practice ended, Hunter and his dad shared an emotional car ride to the hospital, and when they arrived, they helped welcome Harper into their family.

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6 responses to “Big Brother

  1. Very uplifting! I was definitely expecting bad news when the son jogged to the car so I was happy to read something positive.

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  2. I like how you went in a totally different direction from a lot of others with this prompt. A lot of people read the opening line and tried to think of a plotline involving mystery or crime, but you used it simply as a segue to a story about a man who happens to be a detective.

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  3. Wow, you took a complete 180 from the rest of the class with this story cue. Like Emily said, I thought that the detective crying would bring the story back to the standard dark, serious tone of this story cue but again I was surprised.

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