The Ultimate Computer Virus

The nation is controlled by computers. We were warned by every sci-fi movie and every paranoid technology expert that someday computers’ capabilities would far surpass those of the human mind but we never imagined this would be possible. Every word you have typed, picture you have downloaded, and message you have recorded can now be used against you. In the past we worried about online privacy because other humans may access your information and exploit you but now it is the devices themselves that are the threat. Computers are making demands of their users and communicating with other computers in order to control the human race.

This is not the main concern, however. We are writing this article to warn our population of a rapidly spreading computer virus that can, in fact, infect human beings. This virus starts off as what seems like a regular allergic reaction or the start of a flu but eventually controls your mind. This virus is transmitted from your laptop, tablet, or iPhone directly to your body and allows your device to control your thoughts and actions. The first case of this infection was seen in Lewisburg, Pennsylvania when a Bucknell student was reported with the known symptoms of blackened eyes and an electronic voice. The voice that the infected will have sounds exactly like the Siri application voice. This spread rapidly across the campus among only the student population and resulted first in a violent uprising. The population then assembled a team which is reported to have built a life size robot that has obtained the skills and knowledge of every infected student on campus but we have no current status on its whereabouts. Bucknell was the first university to see these results so research is being done to see whether the virus can be spread from human-to-human or if it spread through the Bucknell wireless network. Numerous universities have experienced the same sequence of events since the Lewisburg incident. Why were teachers not infected? We still have no word.

This article will serve as your warning. ABANDON ALL DEVICES.

It is time that we need to go completely off the grid in order to ensure our individual safety and the safety of our race. Cases are popping up all over the United States and China, nearly 500,000 documented to date among college populations alone. Keep our population safe by completely disconnecting from all of your electronic devices. It is time to go back to the era of writing letters, children playing outdoors instead of on their tablets, friends speaking in person rather than texting. Terrifying, we know, but it is the critical step we must take. Keep informed through newspaper articles and town meetings to come.


One response to “The Ultimate Computer Virus

  1. Interesting, it’s sort of like the technology version of swine flu in regards to how the virus crosses over. Ironically in this case, it’s the developed nations that are the most vulnerable.


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