Kan You Keep Up?


The nation is controlled by Kim Kardashian. Her rise to power shared strong parallels to her rise to fame. Kim recorded a sex tape with the nation’s President, and threatened to leak it to the internet if he did not grant her full control of the nation. Knowing his reputation and his family were at stake, the President excused himself from office after issuing an executive order granting Kim national power.

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Kanye interrupts Kim’s inaugural address to say “Imma let you finish but KIM’S GONNA BE THE GREATEST LEADER OF ALL. TIME.”

The West Wing is converted into Kanye’s lair. The walls are completely covered by either photos of himself or gilded mirrors, and a surround-sound speaker system plays every song he’s ever created on loop. The nursery is located in the North wing of the White House. All chairs are refurbished to accommodate the klassic Kardashian kaboose, except for Kanye’s, which are replaced with thrones. “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” becomes the national television show, and her mother’s talk show, “Kris,” is mysteriously given rave reviews and brought back on the air.

Kim brings a unique system of democracy. She abolishes Congress and the Supreme Court and instead requires a popular vote on every new policy, but the popular vote is tabulated via social media. She introduces a new app called “Kast Your Vote” where representatives propose new legislation and all citizens either “like” or “dislike” it. Legislators are elected based on which candidates can accrue the most likes on Instagram. To ensure maximum public access, all citizens are issued iPhones.

What will become of Kim’s Kingdom? Will the new political system strengthen or deteriorate democracy? Will we all grow to admire Kanye as much as Kanye admires Kanye? Komment below.

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9 responses to “Kan You Keep Up?

  1. Clever haha, I like the alliteration of “klassic Kardashian kaboose”. This situation seems well suited to start a Kanye Kult (similar to North Korea) where there’s a cult of the leader that is used as a guise for control.

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    • Very cool connection, I hadn’t thought about that. Especially since the North Korean cult is so dependent on institutionalized media, I could definitely see that sort of phenomenon occurring if Kimye were in power. Mostly Kanye.

      Like

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